Oh (People-)Please, Please Yourself First!
Many years ago, a girl named Juliet was born. When she grew older, she expected everyone to expect something different from her, and she felt safest appeasing those expectations. After a while, this grew tiring as she lost her own needs and herself in the process. Not to be concerned, as she has finally figured out why and how to please herself first.
Almost everyone today is a people-pleaser to some degree. And for years on end, I have fallen into the category of being an extreme one. But at least I’m open and honest about it, which is the first step to pleasing yourself.
But should you even be concerned with pleasing others? Well, no. As everyone does, you also have the free will to do as you want and please. You don’t have to please anyone. I would even advise you not to! But why does that feel so innately wrong to say or even to think? Because we grow up that way.
We are taught to think we must please our teachers, to please our parents, and to please our friends. We are taught this to fit into society well so we can live stable and comfortably. But what this does is that it takes away the ability to recognize our needs and wants. Most people know this. Some would even admit that they are too neglectful of what they want and need. But not many people act on this because they feel like this is just who they are.
Know that there exists such a thing as being rightly selfish. And that it’s always better to take care of yourself first before you take care of someone else. I even dedicated a whole lesson to it in my New Intuitive You Course:
Lesson 10: Help Yourself First
So now that we are aware we neglect ourselves too much at times, how do we go about making a change in our behavior? Because remember: “Knowledge without use becomes useless knowledge.” — Juliet
We change our priorities.
You can’t expect to act differently if you stay the same. This is an inside job you must undertake within yourself. You become someone new and find a better reason to stop pleasing others instead of keep pleasing others. Your reason to stop is going to be important! Because what hurts more? To maybe hurt others, or to keep hurting yourself?
We expect that if we decide to stop, it won’t work out positively for us because of events that happened in our past. Whereas I would like to say to you:
LET IT STAY THERE
Nothing that has happened HAS to repeat itself. It was a moment in time. Like right now is also a moment in time. Those moments are separate and have nothing to do with each other. Don’t use it as an excuse not to move forward.
So, move forward! Change your priorities and make yourself the most important one. I’d like to remember that the quality of your relationships is at stake here. This is an unmissable part of your life. Your life will widely improve if you decide to improve as well.
Thank you so much for reading!
Leave a comment below to tell your story about your experience as a people-pleaser!
— Juliet 💕
